Letting go when you’re not ready is full of heartbreak but may be necessary.
Several people I know, myself included, have suddenly had to let go of someone they care about and are now dealing with the heartache of it all. Whether its a death or breakup, the heart feels broken, emotions take over and grieving is necessary to really let go.
I really want to write about letting go of someone you love but I don’t feel I am graceful or even good at letting go. In fact it has always been pretty messy and full of heartbreak. Each time has been hard and required significant amounts of mourning, an understanding and loving support team and copious amounts of self care. Oh yeah, and let’s not forget about our friend, time.
Time, I believe, is the hardest part of the letting go process. Yet it is so simple and nothing is required of you except to keep letting it tick away. Whenever I am going through heartache, time feels more like an enemy than a friend. My mind dwells on the way it was or the way it could have been.
When I was in my late teens I married my high school sweetheart. He was one of my best friends. I couldn’t imagine a life without him. So when we separated a few short years later, my heart was broken. I saw it coming but refused to believe it was possible. We were christians and we had morals and standards and commandments. We were young. I was naive. I had a lot of growing up to do. But regardless, it hurt. Bad. However, time did take place. Funny how it works that way. And I did heal from that broken heart. And I learned to move on with my life.
At the time I couldn’t see past my pain. How was I ever to recover and move on with my life? I felt rejected and hopeless. I remember saying “it hurts so much, it probably would be easier if he had died”.
I had no idea how wrong I was.
A few short years later, I lost friends/co-workers in a plane crash. One of the passengers was my best friend and lover. The pain almost destroyed me. I remember thinking “No. THIS is harder.” Death of my lover, for me, was much harder than a broken marriage.
In my early to mid 20’s, I was forced to let go of two important relationships to me. Life sometimes does that to you. In the blink of an eye, everything changes. My world was turned upside down. And through the process of letting go, I took the necessary time to mourn (which took years), surrounded myself with friends and family that helped build me up and supported me, and I relearned to self care (because sometime in life you forget how). And in time, I healed and I grew.
It was necessary for me to let go. I had to let go of the pain and trust the healing process. I had to let go of the thought I was never going to be okay again, let alone love again, just so I could love again and be okay. I even had to let go of my loved ones. They will always have a place in my heart. Always. But I had to let go so I could live. And love. And be happy again.
To those out there that are suffering from heartache, let time do its job. In the meantime, mourn, surround yourself with support, and learn to self care. Time will take care of the rest.
Love and Hugs to You All…Happy Adventure Friday My Friends!!